Ode to Animalia, pt 2

Back to the lecture at hand...

Liz (scorpion, f): That's right, SCORPION. Liz was one of the most badass animals I have ever seen. I had told my parents that to get an A on a middle school science project, I would need a live scorpion. AND THEY BOUGHT IT. Liz, a black Emperor Scorpion was the splitting image of lethal calm. She would eat crickets, letting them crawl all over her before stinging one too fast for the human eye to follow. She would bathe in this psychotic looking ritual that involved rearranging her whole body position to get one leg in water. She faked death once (another brilliant set of screams were heard for that reveal), and eventually passed from either a tumor or complications during childbirth. As I lack a degree in Arachnological Medicine, I couldn't really tell which.

Angie (dog, f): Angie is (hooray, we're up to living animals!) a blonde Golden Reriever that we got to cheer Coco up after Freckles's death. The problem with getting two dogs is that from that point on you will always have two dogs, or the surviving dog will get depressed and mopey. Angie was a hyper little ball of puppy and was so small at first that Coco was confused as to what she was. Notable escapades include: knocking over a bottle of motor oil on herself, attempting to bite Coco's legs (in play) while he was peeing, getting subsequently peed on, and licking my dad's bald head (or anything salty, for that matter) for 10-20 minutes on end. When Coco died she became bitchy (PUN) to other dogs, preferring the longer lasting company of people. Bongo pushed the living hell out of her patience, but also made her open up a bit. She has gained a bit of weight, and is affectionately called "The Baked Potato". She lives with my dad currently, but visits my mom from time to time. She's got a thing for chasing geese now.

Bongo (dog, m): Bongo, Bongo, Bongo, Bongo, Bongo.....Bongo is a light-gold colored Golden Retriever, and is a hyperactive asshole. He would jump up on tables and counters and people who came to the door, he would run laps around the dining room table, he would do all manner of terribly annoying things. We tried to discipline him, but as I was the only one doing it with any degree of consistency, he continued misbehaving and simply thought I was out of line. We would get into fights sometimes, in which I'd have to yell so gutturally that he would pee himself in self-defense. He got bitey and snarly and downright aggressive. Yet, for all of that, he could be sweet at seemingly random times. We gave him to a friend of my dad's when we moved: a dog trainer with a great deal of land and three large, active dogs for him to play with. Hopefully he has since calmed down.

Princess Caribou, Mama Midnight, Constantina, etc. (rats, f): My roomate's pet rats. Fun, but (other than 'Tina) none of them lived long. Still, carrying them around on your shoulder was fun.

Sonora (chinchilla, f): Nora was my roomate's chinchilla that I adopted when he moved in with a cat. She was hilarious. She was adorable (http://www.chinchillaplanet.com/images/typical-chinchilla.jpg [not her but similar]), she would run on her wheel like a thing possessed, she would tarzan on hanging toys, she would do backflips off of her cage, she would spray my roomate (odorless, colorless, non-staining urine) from time to time, and she would bark (yelping, similar to high pitched dog) so loudly that I could hear her from outside. Dust baths are a great and adorable thing to watch. Often she would wake me up at 4 in the morning because she was bored. I used to carry her around the house, letting her sniff things as she fancied. She died far too soon from a mold that had developed, out of sight, between mybox spring and the wall (apparently common to the area that I was in).


Barley (cat, m): Much like the roomates I was with at the time, Barley seemed nice at first but turned selfish and mean after a while. Not a fan.


My fiancee, my roomate and I now have two cats who will be the subject of....

ODE TO ANIMALIA
PART 3

(cue "Back to the Future" theme)

-DubTak