21 April 2009

Double-Edged Coin

Am I afraid of failure, or turned on by failure? Am I in an eternal loop? Do I crave consistency, or am I repulsed by it? What is this all headed toward?

I am a seamless homogeneous mixture and a sloppy heterogeneous heap. I wish I could sleep on cue, don't you? Won't know 'till you try, better suffer than die. Death is a luxury I am not afforded. I will return whenever needed, no matter the hour, no matter the price. Righteousness's difficulty was understated when first related to me. I didn't know what I enlisted for, however more days they give me I'll take: desperation's a tainted take.

Can't it be both?

17 February 2009

Two-Faced Joker

They...call...me...

VERSE 1
Two-faced joker
In a black-and-white deck
Got a red-hot poker
And a frail little neck
Wanna yin-yang cookie
Or a monochrome flag
Get some tangy nookie
Or an unfiltered fag

CHORUS
You want it good?
You want it bad?
You want the best you want the worst you ever had?
You want it all?
Then take a fall
Come to my two-toned, half-domed, zebra-stripe carnivale

VERSE 2
Two-faced joker
With black-and-blue thighs
Got an angel stoker
And The Devil's eyes
Wanna ebony bicycle
A iv'ry sedan
Get a red icicle
But no fatal plan

13 February 2009

New Chapter

Herein begins my new chapter

I arise from years of darkened slumber.
My hand shakes slightly as I wake,
fearful of the morning's call.
On my lips, the promise of song trembles to the surface.

I have waited in this forge,
Ever hardened, ever tempered,
Until the fire convinced me that
Melting was my only choice.

From the anvil of avarice,
The hammer of humility has sharpened
The ore of my youth
To the blade of my hope.

From the red-hot shards of my fury
Has come the bellows,
Exhaling and carrying me ever forward.
From the cooling waters of patience
Has come the steam of righteousness.

Herein begins my new chapter.

As I burned my temples to blackened lumps,
It waited.
As I corroded my aqueducts with poison,
It waited.
As I wallowed in the undertow that drowned me,
It waited.

Until I no longer expected it,
No longer tracked its furtive movements.
In that moment, it pounced.
In that instant, it conquered.
In that flash, it revealed,
It Created.

Herein begins my new chapter.
Herein ends, I pray, my wretched sight.
Herein begins my beating heart.

12 February 2009

Navajo Jeans

VERSE 1
Like a leaf from the tome
She talks with the cold
Grinning while her fingers roam
She rolls oh so bold

CHORUS
Navajo jeans
Come off at the seams
Black bottomed soul
I lose my control
And slip on my dreams

VERSE 2
Like a trumpeting band
Yo-yo like a queen
Loves to fall into my hand
With her fire filled beam

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Such a perilous stream to ford
Caulk the wagons, or pay the toll?
Cash out weapons I can't afford
Natural critical role
>>>too nerdy? Different song maybe? Tone seems too different<<<

SOLO(s)

VERSE 1
>>>variation? verse 3? Trade 4s (verse 1/solo, chorus/solo)?<<<

CHORUS

11 February 2009

Dizzy

I feel dizzy again, unbalanced. I feel sick, useless, frail. I cannot bring myself to do what is necessary, despite it being in my own interest. At what point did I convince myself that I am not worth saving? At what point did I stop investing in my own well-being? At what point did I stop being the smart kid and started being the slacker? The new location feels no different, the meds feel no different, except for the occasional day that I don't feel like I can't keep myself upright. How can I be so far from success, when I had so much potential? What have I been reduced to? Why?
Why can't I get out of bed when I want to, when I need to, when I scream at myself in my head for hours and my muscles don't work. A few doctors have told me that I am a product of no routine, that I have fallen into bad habits and simply reinforced them. I feel, however, that I have never had a routine, never been able to cling to anything productive.
My mind is afloat, bloated with fairly useless information. Know what a Tardigrade is? I do. Know why a Dorian minor scale is implemented? I do. Know how to get anywhere on time? I don't. Know how to not screw up? I don't.

24 January 2009

Ferngatz Lens

Words are not mere vessels of information; they are living, beating sixteenth notes, or maybe demisemiquavers on the grand staff of type-face. Every syllable rides a rowdy rhythm, every vowel a timbred pitch, every sentence an arpeggiated counterpoint, weaving against a melody of pronouns and predicates. Verbs should be believed, nouns need not kneel, adjectives objectify indirect objects. Paragraphs, perfect and pristine, quite rarely stand tall, unless viewing works exemplary yet zealous in their sweet, sweet music. The timpanist trusts his tuning in the way writers wish and want. Why just convey when with words you can play a symphony of syntax? Why simply state when you can relate the great songs of olden rhymes, cactus juice with ice and limes, breathing down from deep within refurbished pulp? Let literature live lest it lay, lazily lessening, love of living missing. Find sound, find song, find cantus firmis flying out from ink swashes. Make the mundane into music.

19 January 2009

Heirloom Kow-Tow

INTRO
My organ is the great and powerful Ark, hear its bark!

VERSE 1
A Nautilus gratuitous conservatist wake of the golden spear
One gargoyle of the pride, fibrous cellulose spread spewing ohr zaruah!
One molding, master sinestra or left for our less latin inclined

CHORUS
Rewind, supine, sublime and macchu picchu comes again
Rewind, supine, sublime and macchu picchu comes again

VERSE 2
Sunrise milky onion flying shadow of a bow
Does the parcelman realize it's tape down below
The shadow electric spews negative good
The terror of Sodom! The victim is the pupil not the daughter.

CHORUS
Rewind, supine, sublime and macchu picchu comes again
Rewind, supine, sublime and macchu picchu comes again

BRIDGE
She plays dumb for the blondes and the giants
Only thing easier than playing out the truth
Sooth-sayin' eyes, locked-up surprise

BRIDGE 2
I play dumb for the drunks and the broadcasters
Only thing easier than living sans sordino
Flatter mine eyes, still no surprise

SOLO(S)

CHORUS (IN FANFARE
Rewind, supine, sublime and macchu picchu comes again

THEN IN FUGUE)
Rewind, supine, sublime and macchu picchu comes again

VERSE 1 (REPRISE)
A Nautilus gratuitous conservatist wake of the golden spear
One gargoyle of the pride, fibrous cellulose spread

OUTRO
spewing ohr zaruah!
spewing ohr zaruah!
spewing ohr -gan is the great and powerful Ark, hear its bark!

--
Sent from my mobile device

03 January 2009

André & Z, first draft, incomplete

"I'm not your fucking pet, Entrée."
"You're damn right you aren't. You, my canine friend, are my cash
cow. You will make me rich, Z, and when you stop pulling a crowd I'll
sell you to some high-collar fucking aristocrat and you'll be his
loyal fucking slave." André was too pompous; his sweat tasted like
rattled nerves.
Feigning boredom, Z took in the ringleader's anxiety and began to
decipher it. "I stopped paying attention around 'I taste good tartare
with a lactic acid sauce'. I might prefer my Entrée with a spleen
and bile salad, but I am watching my weight...maybe just a
half-spleen..."
"Call me Entrée again and I'll sell you to a gourmet butcher, asshole."
"I quake with fear, Appetize-dré..."

The hulking, inhuman mass in its cage let out a deep, predatory
chuckle. Z had all the time he wanted, as long as André stayed the
same pathetic, money-hoarding tapeworm that he always was. That the
mocking nickname bothered the worm confirmed Z's predictions: André
had found patrons for tonight.

The muscular prisoner's gigantuan Trapezius muscle flexed, mockingly.
Every day, André looked more appetizing, and Z could think of fewer
and fewer reasons to keep him alive.

"If you weren't a great sideshow-"
"And here I thought I was the main attraction."
The ringleader ignored the interruption. "-I'd call the boys in grey
to make your chest into hairy motherfucking jewlery!" André's heart
thundered angrily in his brain; music to Z's ears.
"You will not speak English in front of paying customers."
Z's toothy grin belied his carnivorous intent. "No English? ¿Puedo
hablar Español? Midaber Ivrit?"
André dismissed the obvious bait from the overconfident lycanthrope in
front of him. "You will scare customers, but no physical contact. No
attempting to eat anyone, no clawing kids, and for the love of Profit
do not just lay there, sleeping! " Blood ran past André's temples; Z
couldn't decide whether to be hungered or aroused. Why not both?, he
thought.
"People pay good money to see a big, scary, make-em-shit-themselves,
honest-to-fucking-Profit werewolf. I don't want a furry piece of
fucking furniture!"
The lupine prisoner grew bored of banter, his rapacious appetite
requiring a bit of a compromise. "I'll need to be fed first, then.
Now would be lovely, Entrée."
The profiteer's patience had paid off. "Watch your fucking mouth,
dog. I'll send Butchie over with some fresh venison, once I get back
to my office, that is." André adjusted his raggedy top hat. "Might
go faster if wasn't so offended..."

An ensanguined growl spat out what might have been "Fine, André", but
was so shrouded in malice that André could only assume its contents.
The ringleader ambled slowly back to his trailer, leaving the famished
werewolf to seethe. The battle had been Z's victory, however, as
venison meant only one thing: wealthy reporters.

***

Two by two they came through the carnival's towering gates. Some had
little ones in tow, some had clipboards and microphones, some had
dates on their arms, and still others had their arms tucked
defensively at their sides. Word had coursed through veins of gossip,
arteries of paper and television cables, pumping from a single,
powerful ventricle: a living, breathing, biting werewolf. News had
trickled at first; André was an expert in drawing out a profitable
enterprise. A few, carefully placed, implausible rumors found their
way to conspiracy theorists and self-proclaimed monster hunters. From
there, the echoes of interest bounced from online forum to inbox, chat
room to front porch. Bloggers bragged of having seen this great
terror, and networks pounced on rights to the naive writers'
intellectual property.
Soon, every full moon yielded cameras and well-dressed journalists
caked in make-up. Microphone booms poked through throngs of suckers
who had given up two paychecks just to glance upon the "Feral Phenom",
as André billed him. "See the chained beast! See man's triumph over
his lowly cousin!" André knew that his clichèd sideshow advertising
drewmore groans than cheers, but he also knew that people with money
are suckers for nostalgia. A worn-down velvet suit, off-color vest,
tattered, fingerless gloves and a general stench of sleaze were topped
off with a brilliantly awful looking top hat. André was every
nightmare's Carnival King, reigning over his subjects justly, assuming
they all paid their taxes, of course.
Every few months, animal rights protestors blocked off Z's cage and
claimed that this was no beast but a thinking, caring creature that
needed love and affection. Those smart enough to see Z as the
carnivore he was kept a good distance from the bars. Inevitably,
though, a young and brash activist would attempt to show Z's
compassion by attempting to pet him. The amused werewolf would lead
the kid on by rolling over on his stomach and wagging ass as if a tail
once wagged there. After seeing André's fearful resignation, Z would
lodge his claws into his prey's temples (just in front of the sphenoid
bones, just behind the subaorbital foramens) and would, to the horror
of onlookers, slowly eat the kid's eyes out. Z would spew crimson
through violent laughter as he tossed the grisly, unstaunched body
back into the crowd. André was sure to get liability waivers signed
well in advance.

02 January 2009

Photos have moved!

To keep this blog focused on writing, I have transfered my photos to the newly created DubTak's Photo Dump. Go visit at http://dubtak2.blogspot.com

-DubTak
 
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